January, 2002

Yes, it's true. After more than 14 years, I have left YFC. What can you do for me as I begin this transition? Pray that I trust God.

In his book Ruthless Trust, Brennan Manning tells the following story:

When the brilliant ethicist John Kavanaugh went to work for three months at "the house of the dying" in Calcutta, he was seeking a clear answer as to how best to spend the rest of his life. On the first morning there he met Mother Theresa.

She asked, "And what can I do for you?" Kavanaugh asked her to pray for him. What do you want me to pray for?" she asked. He voiced the request that he had borne thousands of miles from the United States: "Pray that I have clarity."

[When I first read this, I said to myself, that's exactly what I've been asking people to pray for me-yeah, this is great. Then I read on to Mother Theresa's answer.]

She said firmly, "No, I will not do that." When he asked her why, she said, "Clarity is the last thing you are clinging to and must let go of." When Kavanaugh commented that she always seemed to have the clarity he longed for, she laughed and said, "I have never had clarity; what I have always had is trust. So I will pray that you trust God."

Manning goes on to say,

"Craving clarity, we attempt to eliminate the risk of trusting God. Fear of the unknown path stretching ahead of us destroys childlike trust in the Father's active goodness and unrestricted love.

We often presume that trust will dispel the confusion, illuminate the darkness, vanquish the uncertainty, and redeem the times. But the crowd of witnesses in Hebrews 11 testifies that this is not the case. Our trust does not bring final clarity on this earth. It does not still the chaos or dull the pain or provide a crutch. When all else is unclear, the heart of trust says, as Jesus did on the cross, "Into your hands I commit my spirit." (Luke 23:46)"

And when he was trying to figure out a new career path, Manning says,

"The way of trust is a movement into obscurity, into the undefined, into ambiguity, not into some predetermined, clearly delineated plan for the future. The next step discloses itself only out of a discernment of God acting in the desert of the present moment. The reality of naked trust is the life of a pilgrim who leaves what is nailed down, obvious, and secure, and walks into the unknown without any rational explanation to justify the decision or guarantee the future. Why? Because God has signaled the movement and offered it his presence and his promise."

(And all of this is just from chapter one in his book. If you want to dig into what trust really looks like, this is a powerful book. I recommend it. If you do read it, I'd love to hear your thoughts.)

And why should we trust God? Because of Christmas. Because he loves us and knows us more deeply than we can imagine. Because he created us. Because of Easter. Because he wants the absolute best for us. May you find time to discover God's intimate love for you.